Category: Writers Block
You were the one
I would always desire
The flames only rose
When I tried to put out the fire
Now, the world still turns
I’ve tried, but can’t fight it,
First love still burns
They say time heals wounds
Yet decades aren’t enough
To heal the burns
Of that very first love
The forest of my memory engulfed
In a wind-swept inferno
No escape, below or above
From the searing heat of my first love
Her touch a spark
Her voice a match to the fuse
Her eyes a torch
Her soul a bonfire
Every moment with her fule for the flames
Still smoldering and smoking
With embers glowing red
The fire of first love
Consumes my heart and my head
Wow, I really like this. I like the repeated symbol of fire to express emotion, and the repetition. you really explain that well. :)
Interesting piece. I like the desire mixed with fire to express desire, but then is tarnished by the images given afterwards. How desire is like fire that never stops rising, but can never be put out.
Nice job with the following stanzas, giving the reader a sense of what the speaker feels and what he or she is going through.
Fonzie
nice rhyme scheme! Yes, I agree with everyone else who posted!
Keep it up!
Wow you can do something I can't! I can't rhyme for nothing! Nice job, keep it up!
hey, nice job, keep it up!
I like it. Your poem is very clear not only in tone, but also in the message that it portreys. Other things nice about this poem is the emotion that it brings the reader. Good job with your writing. Keep it going.
I liked some of the imagery like
The forest of my memory engulfed
In a wind-swept inferno
No escape, below or above
From the searing heat of my first love
Now, my opinion about rhyming differs from the others.
while it's a tallent, and your poem is good, I think the rhymes make it too sing song. but that's just me. It's so neat and steady and slow and calm, for me the tone doesn't match the feeling.
but it is a great poem Alan, I liked it. lol.
pretty
pretty